Before ankylosaurs invented the "tank" body plan, another group had already perfected it. Meet Desmatosuchus, the Triassic walking fortress.
This wasn't a dinosaur. It was an aetosaur—a heavily armored cousin of crocodiles and dinosaurs. In the river valleys of what is now Texas, over 220 million years ago, Desmatosuchus plodded along as a peaceful plant-eater. But "peaceful" didn't mean defenseless.
Its entire body, from neck to tail, was encased in interlocking bony plates (osteoderms). But its masterpiece was a pair of long, curved, spearlike spikes jutting from its shoulders, each as formidable as a bull's horns. This was a creature built to say, "Go ahead, try it," to any predator daring enough to attack.
Desmatosuchus represents the pinnacle of defensive evolution in its time. In a world of new and hungry predators, sometimes the best strategy isn't to outrun them, but to become literally too painful to eat.

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